The Fat Duck experience

Allow us to indulge ourselves here with a quite extensive blog entry.  I am now well trained in indulging myself thanks to the Heston Blumenthal adventure..

First let me say that The Fat Duck is something I would never recommend to anyone.  I would also state that having been, personally, I would never want to have missed it. The last photo on this blog entry holds the reason why I would never recommend it but please don't go look now, wait like we had to, until the end of the meal.

What follows here will be a lot of adjectives, 43 examples of poor photography, (no flash was allowed, wine was included, Gail has short arms and didn't have her specs on all the time), and pages and pages of superlatives. 

If all this, and pure ostentatiousness frightens you, please go forward or back to the more prosaic blog entries of our much milder adventures in and from Wetherby.

THE FAT DUCK - March 1, 2011.
(Kylie's 30th Birthday.)
That was the excuse to go, and that was as good as any. 

We arrived in Bray to what appeared as a non-descript off-white painted house fronting onto the street, to be met and welcomed by four staff, The Manager, The sommellier, the Maitre de, and our head waiter.  Our coats were taken and we were escorted through what was an area not much bigger than our downstairs at Wetherby and about ten tables.  Quite exclusive really.

We were allowed time to settle before we were asked if we would like a pre-lunch drinkie.

That would be your Tattinger Brut, all round please.

And with the delivery of the menu for food, and one for wine the great theatre and taste experience was begun.

 

I will take this opportunity to say that every portion was delivered with great professionalism, a full description and explanation and as there were four of us, two of us were served at a time, in time, choreographed to perfection by two wait staff who were well drilled in pandering and precision. And yes you are right, the English have no idea how to do this, these wait staff were selected from the finest European catering schools and restaurants, not an English accent to be heard.

The manageress booted the show off with a lovely welcome and an introduction to our Amuse Bouche . (happy mouth). Here you see cloth balls containing freeze dried green tea and freeze dried raspberry powders, a liquid nitrogen container and bucket and three pressurised foam dispensers. The foams were Vodka and lime, G and T, Campari Soda. We selected our preference.

 

The Foam was poured , the foam was sunk in the liquid nitrogen, the foam was placed on a plate and sprinkled with tea or raspberry and popped into the mouth. The crusty chilled shell held the central foam until the flavour exploded in our heads.  The  wine was Citrus Grove and I will not go on about wine matching other than to say I was in wonder every time I sipped and I can't figure how our wine tasting menu could be bettered by the 120 pound or the 350 pound alternatives.  Yes that's right. Pounds sterling. Per person.

  

Above you have the Red Cabbage gazpacho with pommery grain mustard ice cream.  Fresh, tart and sweet, rich without cloying, perfect as a introduction to get the juices flowing.

Lost in the mist are four little plastic The Fat Duck branded envelopes containing in each a waffer thin film of truffle flavoured something which was placed on the tongue first, I guess to prepare one's taste buds...oh, please, do go on....

Here you see in the bowl I am holding, jelly of quail under crayfish cream with truffle wafer and jus all floating over a pea puree, accompanied by truffle toast garnished with tiny tiny thin slices of radish garnished with pea leaf. O.M.G. And to top it off there was a Peter Lehmann, Wigan Riesling from Eden Valley. Bewdy mate.

This was Gail's favourite taste sensation, if there could be such a thing. It is the Iberico Ham, Shaved Fennel, Snail porridge served with the 2006 Collio Bianco, Kiln, Primosic, Friuli-venezia-giulia from northern Italy.

 

and to follow Roast Foie Gras with rhubarb braised konbu and crab biscuit.  The texture of this was unworldly, the flavour sublime and the 2008 Vouvray from the Loire valley just evaporated.

 I'm not picking on Jon here, but he was away for one of the deliveries, the foie gras as it turns out.  Whenever one of us was not present for service, on our return we were seated and introduced separately to our new dish which was held back until we were re-seated.... service, more, more...

  







What all this is about is a Mock Turtle tribute to L Caroll's  Mad Hatter's Tea party.  The dish was spectacular enough but the tea was in fact a veal? stock.  The four stock jubes were delivered displayed in a black velvet display case each in the shape of the white rabbit's clock, coated with gold leaf and hung from a string, a la teabag.  Our golden 'clock'  was dropped into our cup of hot water, we stirred until the gold leaf turned to glittering little yellow snowflakes in the dissolved stock so we could pour it over the mock turtle and fungi and stuff which again was a textural dream, an olfactory delight and a taste Divine.

Next to arrive at the table were four conch shells each with micro ipod inside and earphones delivering the sound of the sea-side. Including cawing gulls. Great fun.

Anyone who watched Masterchef Australia will recognise this dish. Three fish, delicious sand, salty sweet foam, three different seaweeds from around the globe.  A triumph together with the DiaGinjo Masumi Nagano Saki.  We lived three years in Japan and I have never tasted Saki this good.  Must have been the ambiance. Or the little spray of scent the waiter wafted over us to enhance the mood......  'Strewth!

 It may sound churlish for one so lacking in cooth but this dish, salmon poached in a liquorice gel with artichoke, vanilla mayonnaise and golden trout roe accompanied by a 1997 Rosso Del Veronese Ripasso, Campofiorin, Masi, Veneto was the least appealing match.  The salmon was a moist fragrant delight, the gel superb and the artichoke mayonnaise compo a triumph, but as a dish, well crafted as it was, the flavours didn't send any of us into the same oohhs and ahhhs as the previous or the next dishes.

The Anjou Pigeon with blood pudding risotto of spelt and Umbles carried over by the 2004 Val Di Cornia Suvereto, Olpaio, Rubbia al Colle, from Tuscany was my highlight.  The flavour rich to decadence, the blood pudding sweet and savoury and the total effect just blew my socks off.  This was a first timer on the menu we were later told and long may it stay.

this unpretentious little number was the mouth cleanser prior to the sweets invasion.  It is hot and iced tea.  If you look really really close you can see a slight colour difference left to right.  The left is hot tea, the right is ice tea. The left is liquid like tea is, the right slightly firm like soft soft but cool jelly.  when you drink it, one side of your mouth is warm the other cool.  Wonderful. It is made by forming the jelly side, a divider is used, then pouring the hot tea and quickly delivering to the table to consume.  Wonderful.  Did I say that already?

I defy anybody to claim they don't like rhubarb after tasting this Galette with neroli scented yogurt and rhubarb sorbet.  Just look at it. It went so well with the 2007 Grasevina Izborna Berba Prosusenih Bobca. Krautheraker. Kutjevo from Slavonija that we wished the afternoon was not so close to an end.

And so the last dish was delivered, and what a dish. Black Forest GATEAU as you have never experienced it before. It fell to the spoon in elegant slices staying erect despite repeated digs into its heart of cakey chocolate and cream. the last of the wines was a 2009 Alella, DolcMatro. Alta Alella from Catalunia and it was as enjoyable and memorable as our trip to Barcellona was in the very year it was bottled.

The end was nigh, four hours gone in a waft of flavour and fun and the coffee and tea menu proffered. This prior to what was listed as whisky wine gums delivered on a glass picture map of origin.  These gums were again to be placed on the tongue and dissolved releasing the flavour of the single malt or blend.   They were honestly true to brand and we all shut up and sucked.  I was most chuffed they had Livet 12 yo, my fav.

 Gail also took the camera to the ladies and because she did I include the photo of the flat edge-drained washbasins with their fancy electro sensor taps, The Fat Duck branded soap bottles, fresh Singaporean orchids and the fine cotton towels.

And all too soon the adventure was complete. 
We were satisfied, happy and full. 
The service had been better than excellent, as had the food, the wine, and I never did mention the endless supply of fine baked bread, the quick humour and knowledge of the wait people. 

In case any of you should think I mention the food ingredients or wines from any basis of knowledge deeper than what is printed on the menu Heston gives you in a wax sealed envelope, I must confess I know little of such things.

One other thing. Before departure by a The Fat Duck ordered Mercedes limo to our hotel we were given a candystriped pink and white paper bag, The Fat Duck Branded "like a Kid in a sweet shop".  Its menu is scented to carry the smells of a lolly store and states the following contents within;
Aerated Chocolate surrounding a mandarin jelly. It was a scrumptious dark chocolate bite.
Coconut baccy. Toasted coconut smoked with cavendish tobacco, very moreish.
Apple Pie Caramel , wrapped in an edible cellophane wrapper,  tasted like baked apples in soft caramel sauce.
and
The Queen of hearts which was a playing card printed to look like a Queen of Hearts front and a playing card back, about the thickness of a match but comprising a biscuit and cream sandwich of strawberry and cream wafer. 
Amazing.

DID WE ALL HAVE FUN?  YOU BET YOUR LIFE!

would we go again. .... Once is probably enough, but if you're willing, we'll join you.  We'll pay for the room you can pay for the meal.

Stone the crows and drown the bloody lizzards!